Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Momma's Struggle

Let me start with the fact that I love my family and serving them in the joy and obedience to the Lord comes FIRST!! But I often get frustrated at my lack of time to serve much outside my house.....

I know one of the reasons that I struggle is because I have been through two degree programs and I have a desire to serve and reach my community for Christ. And with my past training and experiences, there are A LOT of areas I feel like I could serve in and would LOVE to serve in.....

But my time right now is to serve my house and I'm usually glad to have my God-given task (for right now) so clear and obvious .....

When I'm honest though....there is a definite part of me that feels so useless to the community and lacking any real talents or gifts!!! And I really get frustrated that I'm limited by my family (the ones God has clearly called me to minister to)!!!

There have been a few activities I've been able to participate in and it's been wonderful to feel useful but they always come with a price that is paid by my kids missing structured time with me, my husband loosing very valuable study time and my house:)

Last week I met up with a local math teacher during revival (another pastor's wife). During our conversation she explained to me some of the need for math teachers and tutors in my own county!!! Of course I came home with a plan that went like this....... when Brian finishes his PhD, I'll homeschool our kids in the morning and teach in the afternoons and fill some of the need, to be a part of the community and really, really use my talents.....

That's about when Brian gave me a dose of reality.... "Hmm, Kelly, I still will have a job to do when I finish the PhD program"...... oh yeah, duh!!

Finally a solution: So last week I was approached by a family in the community regarding their child's need for help with some Geometry!!!! It was actually phrased, "Do you know anything about Geometry??"

I was floored!! I mean not days before I had been struggling with this issue and had decided that it was time for me to stay focused on the family. But this opportunity is different! The family really wants the help but wants it to be convienent for me....

So yesterday we met at my house while the kids were taking their afternoon naps. The kids did wake for the last portion of our time, but they had a quick snack and watched a video I had ready for them.... they stayed quiet (we had talked about the situation plenty during the morning)!

And the student and I got through what she had brought! And I think we worked well together... so it will be soo great to be "serving" in the community but from a chair in my dining room:)

Praise You Lord for Your plans. Help me to be content with the amazing task of raising , caring for and serving these ones in my house. And thank you for these opportunities to serve in the community... when they come!!

3 comments:

Drea said...

Awe well im so glad that you were able to help that student out.. I am so bad at math.. that I realize it truly is a gift someone has to be given! Just like I have a natural gift for artsy stuff.. you are way smarter than me w/ books, reading, math, etc...

You got the book smarts :-) I just got the art smarts or something. That sounds weird..

I can read HTML code but not grasp geometry.. makes no sense :-) maybe its a heart issue.. I dont want to learn it? HAHA

No really... I am just bad at math!

I hope you find more opportunities to help out... but really your doing enough by just being there w/ your kids and being a witness of what a great christian mother looks like.

Stacey said...

That is a big struggle of mine too. I feel like I should be doing more, but I KNOW my place is at home with my children. I watched a great NOOMA video last week that really hit home on this issue. I posted about it on my blog.

I often struggle with thinking there is nothing 'special' about me. I'm no good at photography, I don't have any degrees, I'm too shy to get out there and help people out most times, and I'm no exceptional baker/cook. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself :)

Dorian said...

Be encouraged that the Lord uses whatever you give Him for His purposes. I don't know if I've told you what a blessing reading your blog is to me. Not only am I able to keep up with you and your life, but I'm inspired to be a better friend and have a great example of what being a godly mother and wife looks like. Your love for the Lord and desire to serve Him has always amazed and inspired me and still does! I'm glad you were blessed with a more tangible opportunity to serve and know that the Lord has much more in store for you. =o)

love you!