Monday, December 29, 2008

Long Awaited Child

Every year I seem to gravitate to one piece or person of the Christmas story. The year before last I was VERY pregnant with Lydia and I remember thinking over and over how challenging the trip to Bethlehem must have been for Mary. Mary would have been VERY, VERY pregnant with Jesus to have given birth so soon after their arrival in Bethlehem. Just the aches and pains would have made the 100 mile trip on foot or donkey very uncomfortable! But Old Testament Scripture was fulfilled....

This year has been a little different for me. For many months now we have been hoping to get pregnant and expand our little family (my husband has been praying for twins for years....LOL.. seriously!!!). But month after month, we've been disappointed.

I know people and have read plenty of stories about couples that deal with inferility for years so I don't want to make light of their years of disappointment. But we've never had this before. We had a very few months of waiting when we got pregnant with both Anna and Christopher. And Lydia was our "surprise" baby... we found out we were pregnant with her while Christopher was 5 months old; he was not even sitting up yet!!

So this is new for us.

While practicing for the Christmas Canata, I was listening and singing the classic hymn Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus!! At first I just sang along, but then my mind started to mull over the words and my heart started to connect to the Isrealities.

For over 400 years the Isrealities had been expected a "Savior", a promised Messiah, to "set Thy people free"!!! 400 YEARS!!! Isreal had been waiting and watching. Looking for signs of His coming. Looking for a great and mighty leader that would deliver them and establish an amazing kingdom.....

And then came little, baby Jesus. Not quite what they were expecting. But after many, many generations and years..... the Long-Expected Savior came! Here are the words to the hymn:

Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus, Born to set Thy people free:

From our fears and sins release us; Let us find our rest in Thee.

Isreal's strength and consolation, Hope of all the earth Thou art;

Dear desire of every nation, Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver, born a child, and yet a King,

Born to reign in us forever, Now Thy gracious kingdom bring,

By Thine own eternal spirit Rule in all our hearts alone;

By Thine all-sufficient merit, Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

While I would be overjoyed to find out I am expecting. I've realized that everything happens in God's time. So for this time of waiting I need to be faithful to what and who He has already called me to do. I need to be dilligently serving when and where I can and enjoying this special time of just having toddlers/preschoolers.

And while I am NOT pregnant I also have the opportunity to serve my little sister who is. I keep thinking that I'll be a better help to her if I'm not VERY large with pregnancy, too!!

Here is little Lydia pointing to the "baby" in Aunt Jaclyn's tummy today. She just loved showing us where the baby was:) Soo cute!!!

My prayer is that I'll be found faithful in the weeks, months and possibly years that we might have to wait for another child. That I would have a peaceful and quiet heart before the Lord concerning this as I wait; knowing that it's in God's hands. And that I would always be thankful for the 4 blessings that I already have to care for, love and encourage in their relationship (and future relationships) with the Lord.


Drea said...

awe.. well i think its great how you can learn different things each year in this way from the birth of christ.

you two know we tried for taite for over a year and dealt w/ a miscarried inbetween that as well. it was not easy.. and each month i was so upset that i wasnt pregnant.

it wasnt until i finally stopped thinking about it.. and just began to pray "its in your hands lord."
that the very same month i began to change my thoughts and prayers.. i got pregnant!
im not saying that will happen to you or anyone else... but i think the lord just was teaching me to stop relying on what i knew.. and what i thought.. to stop counting days... and just let him be in control of things... and i needed to learn that.

but like i said its different for everyone. the lord knows your heart and i firmly believe in prayer and that in time you'll have your long expected bundle.. and if not by birth we both know adoption is just as beautiful!

love ya girl! hang in there.. btw jacklyn looks so cute!!!

3 for Me! said...

yep, I think He's teaching me the same thing. I need to be faithful with who he had already had given me and rely on Him for everything else:)

Stacey said...

We too haven't had to 'try' really at all. Rowan was created on the first attempt, and Bria only took a couple months (which felt like forever at the time). This one, just like your third, is a surprise, but a very welcome and exciting one :)

I pray that you will find peace, and that if the months roll on, that you will make it through. Fertility and infertility can be so frustrating, because we have the knowledge of how and when things happen. Yet, God is still the creator of life, and He chooses the time.

Jenny said...

Well, I can understand your believe about getting pregnant. But I think you should also know in background when you have your fertile days. Don't get me wrong. I don't want that you will feel pushed knowing the days in the way like "it have to happen now". But I think if you really want to get pregnant soon you should know the fertile days to give it a bigger chance. Of course, it is no garantuee but your chances get higher.