Friday, April 15, 2011

A Good Ending to my not-Good Parenting

I have never claimed to be the "perfect" parent and I've been humbled enough (plenty of times) to hopefully NEVER make that claim! But I still strive to be a loving and good parent...

and even then I often fail!!

One day I had spent the entire morning doing housework, cleaning, straightening, cooking, and yes, even tackling the kids' playroom!! Finally the afternoon came with naps completed I was determined to enjoy some outside time with the kids before dinner.

Then it happened.... tired of cleaning I stepped into the girls' room to get Nate and I saw another mess!! ANOTHER mess!!

Totally out of frustration, I fussed with the girls and demanded that they clean the messy room (that should have already been done!).

A little voice responded back, "Mom, you are bossy!"


Skipping over more "crazy mother" antics - like sending the child to a Dad who had NO clue what was happening - I decided she needed to apologize before she could come to play.

She immediately accepted her "apology task" and got to work writing a letter to me by herself (since I was now outside with the others).

Before I share the note....

I was (attempting to) correct my daughter's sassy attitude towards me. We don't allow our children to speak ugly to us...

BUT we also (try not to) speak harshly, in anger or ugly to our children either. And so while waiting for this "letter" from Anna I was SOOOOO convicted that I was really the one who needed the attitude adjustment and be giving the apologies as well.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice...

Oh... I'm not even going to count how many of those I was guilty of in that ONE moment... I just know I was GUILTY!!

And my sweet (but sometimes sassy) daughter is soo loving and forgiving of me:

**excuse her spelling... she had to sound out the words by herself**

When she brought me the note. I read it with her standing next to me. I barely saw the misspellings, but my heart just broke. I was soo filled with thankfulness over my precious little girl, her willingness to forgive and for her love for me... her wanting-to-be-always-loving and kind mother who often isn't.

I teared up an apology to her and held her close. And thanked her for forgiving me. And giggled over being loved "more than sandwiches"!

...but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Still learning.
Learning to balance obedience and grace, cleanliness and playtime.
Learning to parent with loving firmness and a quiet request.

I've got a LONG way to go!!!


Drea said...

Been there!

lovejoy_31 said...

Made me cry. I think we have all been there.

Anonymous said...

awe kelly...that is super cute! I have done it so many times too...I feel awful when I do it...

I need to apologize more often to my son too....
Great post.

Heather said...

Love it! Been there too. :(

Our Side of the Mountain said...

LOVE that verse! I have highlighted it in my bible to as a reminder. I have days like yours. Days when I'm tired and frustrated with so much work and set off by "something else". But, that letter! How sweet and innocent it is!


Susie B. Homemaker said...

You are definitely not alone. I think all mom's have gone through that... none of us are perfect. Kids are so great at showing us how to forgive- they love so unconditionally.

Jenny said...

So sweet! I tell you, this happens to me every day. I find myself losing patience so much. I feel like I have to say things 100 times. All of a sudden, Abby will say, "Mom why are you being so mean?" or "you need to go to bed, you are crabby".

I hate when that happens, but gosh I wish she could do things the first (or at least the 3rd) time I say something.